How to Have a Conversation with Your Teen Daughter About Suicidal Thoughts
Hearing your teen daughter express suicidal thoughts can feel overwhelming and terrifying. You may be unsure what to say or afraid that bringing it up will make things worse. But the truth is, your willingness to have an open, honest, and compassionate conversation can be life-saving. Every year, thousands of families are impacted by the devastating reality of teen suicide—and your support can make a difference.
Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10-14 and 25-34, the third leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 15-24. For teen girls especially, rising rates of depression, anxiety, and trauma can make day-to-day life feel unbearably heavy. When your daughter expresses suicidal ideation, it’s a signal that she’s in deep emotional pain—not seeking attention, but seeking relief.
Therapist's Perspective
As a therapist who works with teen girls navigating anxiety, depression, and trauma, I’ve seen how impactful it can be when a parent simply listens and shows up with compassion. You don’t need all the right words—you just need to be present. Teen girls often feel immense pressure to be “okay” and may hide their struggles out of guilt, fear, or not wanting to burden you. Your response can create a bridge or a barrier.
Conversations and Tips
Here’s how you can have a grounded, supportive conversation:
Stay calm and grounded.
Even if you’re panicking inside, take a deep breath. Your daughter needs to feel safe, not judged or overwhelmed.Start with care.
Say something like, “I’m really glad you told me. That takes a lot of courage, and I’m here for you.”Listen more than you talk.
Let her share at her own pace. Use gentle prompts: “Can you help me understand what you’ve been feeling lately?”Validate her emotions.
Avoid minimizing or trying to fix it right away. Instead, try: “That sounds incredibly hard. I can see how much pain you’re in.”Ask direct but non-judgmental questions.
It’s okay to ask, “Are you thinking about ending your life?” or “Do you have a plan?” These questions won’t plant the idea, but they can help you assess how urgent the situation is.Get professional help.
Let her know you’re on her team and want her to have support. Offer to help her connect with a therapist or counselor. If she’s in immediate danger, don’t hesitate to go to the ER or call a crisis line.Follow up and stay connected.
Don’t let the conversation end with one talk. Keep checking in. Let her know she’s not alone, and this isn’t too big or too scary for you to handle with her.
Resources for Immediate Support:
If you or your teen need immediate support, here are some 24/7 resources:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor
Teen Link (Washington State): Teens can call 1-866-TEENLINK (833-6546) or visit www.teenlink.org
Whatcom County Crisis Services (Bellingham-area): 1-800-584-3578 (available 24/7)
911 or immediately take your teen to the Hospital in your local area.
Disclaimer
This blog post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or emergency services. If your teen is in immediate danger, please call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. My therapy practice is not equipped to respond to crisis situations or provide emergency intervention.
Conclusion
These conversations are not easy—but they matter more than words can say. Your teen daughter may be navigating some of the darkest thoughts she’s ever had, but knowing you’re willing to listen and support her can be a powerful light in that darkness. You don’t have to have all the answers. Just showing up and staying connected can make all the difference. Together, we can reduce the heartbreaking number of young lives lost each year—and help more teens find hope, healing, and support.
